NOT able to Feel, ONLY Write!!

September 8 2008

Monday

Elena 8 days old!!

The above picture was an eye opener for me!
Look closely at theis photo!

It was taken at my home when Randy and caroline brought Elena to viist me. (Sep 8, 08)

First you See Elena and I -

- What Was!!

Then in the Gold mirror YOU see -

- Elena, Randy, Caroline and I . . . .

What is NOW a FAMILY!!

Keep looking in the gold mirror you

see Caroline AGAIN!

to me this was a sign of

Caroline becomeing

an

ETERNAL MOTHER!!

It reminds me of when I was a little girl, in the temple to be

sealed to my family!

Where you can see into the Eternitys!

This pictuere brought me

Peace and Reasurence

that me desion was a part of our Saviors plan!

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Came home and just could not think of anything. My mind wandered and was not set on anything, for the next two weeks - (Sep. 2, - Sep. 14, 2008). I was in a black space where you could not look out and that is where I felt safe and comfortable at this time in my life. These were thoughts I wrote during these two weeks!!

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“The path is still being carved out” - there is no such thing as a defined route to happiness. At times in life you will find something new which may redefine your path. Just don’t be afraid to accept and embrace the change. Change is inevitable in life :) If you don’t, you might miss out on happiness and you might not get another opportunity. Opportunity knocks only once!!

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There are times in all of our lives

where we’re treated very harshly and unfairly.

And no matter how hard we look for the justice
we find that it just isn’t there.
When we’re offended and in pain, our normal response
is to retaliate and somehow repay.
For we want that person to see how it feels
to have the heartache we’re feeling that day.
But as natural as it seems to want to get even
it’s the opposite of what God says is true.
For He is desiring that His servants be different
and be Christ-like in all that we do.
As incredible as it sounds, He wants us to repay them
with a blessing instead of more pain.
And He will give us the power we need to be kind
and the strength we need to refrain.
We have to trust Him and fully believe Him
Knowing His ways truly are best.
We have to be encouraged knowing He saw the injustice
and let Him give us comfort and rest.
The person who offends us is not declared innocent
by the kindness we place on their head.
But God takes all the heartache retaliation would bring us
and gives us a blessing instead.

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How can I explain?

How can I describe?

leaving me destitute

turning me into an empty shell;
I am wide awake

but my world is half asleep; voices telling me to carry on

but I am swimming in an ocean all alone;

I tried to go on like I should knowing you are
In good hands that I have chosen, but where I am going

is anybody’s guess!
I will not question

what has brought you here to me

but somehow, somewhere

it was meant to be.

You taught me more then I could have ever KNOWN!
With every step that I take,

I am more confident than before;

a thousand miles apart, I might be,

yet you will still be in my thoughts;
all good things must end,

as life is forever changing,
as I stand here, with emotions running deep,

I have nothing else to say

I have only words to comfort you when that time comes

I hope everything changes but you;

as I sit here, pen and paper in hand,

wondering about all that happened,

together, forever we will stay,

because you know in your heart

that I will love you always;
My Darling Angel

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